Sunday, February 27, 2011

Beyond Comprehension

It has been a long time since my last post and there are a lot of reasons for that. It seems like we have been on a roller-coaster for a month.  I had cleared up all of my projects because I was leaving town to take two courses in BC.  Advanced Paediatric Massage Therapy for Autism one weekend and then the corresponding course for Cerebral Palsy.  This was a big stretch for us financially because I was bringing the kids as well so they could see their Dad while we were there.  We had figured a way to make it work and were getting set to go.  Then my Step-daughter had some complications with her pregnancy and was induced early.  Things did not go as planned with that intervention and she had a C-Section to successfully deliver our grand daughter.  So very quickly from a very scary low to a very excited high!  Thank God everyone is healthy and safe.  That was Thursday.

Tuesday my husband went in for a colonoscopy and I was called up to the doctors office, I thought to pick him up because he was ready to go.  When I arrived however, we were told that the doctor had found a very large mass and had done some biopsies.  He felt this was a mass to be concerned about and was 95% positive it was cancerous.  We were in shock. We were sent for blood work immediately.  I was supposed to leave for my courses on Friday morning.  Of course I didn't want to go and leave my husband with this news and no one to lean on.  After much discussion we decided that I should still go and bring the kids. This was probably the quietest week we would have for a long time.  It was very hard to go, but I did and it was a good idea.  I have family and good friends in BC.  I could cry sob and vent and not have my husband see me in a mess.  My family and friends "glue gunned" me back together and sent me back home in one piece ready to be the support my husband is going to need.  He has since had an X-ray and a Cat scan.  We meet the surgeon tomorrow and the cardiologist Thursday  (he has had a heart attack before so we need extra surgical support).

This is going to be a difficult journey that neither one of us wants to take.  I know that God has a plan for us and that we are in His hands.  This gives me peace.  I also believe that God never gives you more than you can handle, I just wish I had the same confidence in me that He has.

Thanks for letting me share, I just needed to get that out incase my blogging is sporadic for a while.  For a long time now I have just had NO words to write this down with.  Trying to keep life semi-normal for the kids has been our focus but meeting with the surgeons tomorrow is starting to shake my resolve.  If you pray, please say a word or two for my husband.  I am not proud, I will take all the help I can get.



Barb said...

Oh heart just pours out to you. What great news of a new grandbaby but so disheartening about your husband....but modern medicine is so awesome and there will be so many options and with your stength and all will be just fine. Keep the hold on tight...

A Plain Path said...

Oh Penny, I'm so sorry! I will be praying for your husband and your whole family. May the Lord bless you with the grace and strength to endure this trial, and the tender mercies to comfort you.

Praise God for good friends to strengthen us and lift us up when we are struggling. May you continue to be surrounded by sweet support.


I Am Momma - Hear Me Roar said...

Penny, I just stopped by to say hello after you left a kind comment on my blog. Wow, I'm sorry you are going through such a trial. You have a beautiful atttitude and I am so impressed that while you are going through something so challenging that you are taking the time to drop me a kind note and spread joy. You are a strong woman. I'll keep you and your husband in my prayers.


Sue@CountryPleasures said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your news, will keep you all in my prayers!

Trisha said...

So sorry. That does sound like a lot to deal with. Sending my prayers your way for you husband's health.

Lisa said...

Well mamma life seems to hand you lemons but you always make lemonade and you know we are always here for all of you and to help you threw whatever comes up just as you have helped me. Seeing you and the kids was such a boost for me even though it was difficult with all that is going on. I am always here to help lift your spirits or just listen or hug you...sometimes just a look will do. whatever happens you can do it!! Even if you don't want to. Dave is wonderful and he will get threw it even though he doesn't know how yet...and the lucky charm i sent for him has helped me threw 5 surgeries so if will work for his too!! Day at a time and some days a minute at a time. Lots of prayers are coming your way. Love you always,
Nanna Bee