Beyond Comprehension

It has been a long time since my last post and there are a lot of reasons for that. It seems like we have been on a roller-coaster for a month.  I had cleared up all of my projects because I was leaving town to take two courses in BC.  Advanced Paediatric Massage Therapy for Autism one weekend and then the corresponding course for Cerebral Palsy.  This was a big stretch for us financially because I was bringing the kids as well so they could see their Dad while we were there.  We had figured a way to make it work and were getting set to go.  Then my Step-daughter had some complications with her pregnancy and was induced early.  Things did not go as planned with that intervention and she had a C-Section to successfully deliver our grand daughter.  So very quickly from a very scary low to a very excited high!  Thank God everyone is healthy and safe.  That was Thursday.

Tuesday my husband went in for a colonoscopy and I was called up to the doctors office, I thought to pick him up because he was ready to go.  When I arrived however, we were told that the doctor had found a very large mass and had done some biopsies.  He felt this was a mass to be concerned about and was 95% positive it was cancerous.  We were in shock. We were sent for blood work immediately.  I was supposed to leave for my courses on Friday morning.  Of course I didn't want to go and leave my husband with this news and no one to lean on.  After much discussion we decided that I should still go and bring the kids. This was probably the quietest week we would have for a long time.  It was very hard to go, but I did and it was a good idea.  I have family and good friends in BC.  I could cry sob and vent and not have my husband see me in a mess.  My family and friends "glue gunned" me back together and sent me back home in one piece ready to be the support my husband is going to need.  He has since had an X-ray and a Cat scan.  We meet the surgeon tomorrow and the cardiologist Thursday  (he has had a heart attack before so we need extra surgical support).

This is going to be a difficult journey that neither one of us wants to take.  I know that God has a plan for us and that we are in His hands.  This gives me peace.  I also believe that God never gives you more than you can handle, I just wish I had the same confidence in me that He has.

Thanks for letting me share, I just needed to get that out incase my blogging is sporadic for a while.  For a long time now I have just had NO words to write this down with.  Trying to keep life semi-normal for the kids has been our focus but meeting with the surgeons tomorrow is starting to shake my resolve.  If you pray, please say a word or two for my husband.  I am not proud, I will take all the help I can get.

Penny